I have been listening to a few trending discussions on moms missing out on family pictures or from photographs of family events because they choose not to be part of these pictures. The reason being that they don’t feel beautiful enough or in good shape to keep a memory of how they look. This is a very sad situation beause you have a mom who is choosing to sit out of these memorable photographs mainly because in her own mind, she is not beautiful? It is a very sad situation indeed.
Speaking to a lot of young women in their teens and twenties, I had a great awakening of the larger problem. There is an undeniable fact about the lack of self love steming from earlier stages in life. It’s not uncommon to see a young lady in her teens, tweenties and even thirties wearing size zeros, twos, fours, sixs, eight or even ten judge their own bodies so harshly. Speaking with a few young ladies there is an undeniable false perception about not looking good or in bad shape. A few I met will ”false-hold” a fold in their tummy area and point out how much tummy bulge they have. Not only is this distorted view peculiar to these young women I talked to but to many others. I could not help but to see myself in them. This used to be me. Growing up, I was of average height but had literally no flesh on my bones. I will shy away from taking photographs or tear them up with the believe that I did not look good in them. Now fast forward to now, after so many pregnancies and children, from time to time, I will come upon an old photograph of myself. I will stare at these phographs in disbelieve at how ”flawless” and ”infallible” my body was. I remember that in my neive mind and insecured self back then, I was not able to appreciate myself, loose my self and have fun. Being a young woman with no responsibilities and body has not yet changed from having children. Don’t get me wrong, I belive there is no greater reward than having your children in your arms. I have come a long way from then having to learn to love and appreciate my body and all the many years of different experiences it had gone through.
What is my point exactly? For every stage that you are tempted to feel inadequate and not up to par, there will be another moment down the line where you will wish you could have this present body back. For the moms who are avoiding building memories because you feel you are not in the best shape now, in ten more years, you will probably not be looking the same. I know you might be thinking, “What about cosmetic interventions and healthy eating and workout?”And what if you cannot afford those? As much as those are available, how sustainable are they? My point is that, at every stage in life, your body is going to change. We all age differently. It’s almost impossible for a seventy year old grandmother to look like her seventeen year old granddaughter. When your family looks at your photograpghs many years to come, they are not going to look out and point to the tummy bulge you have. They are going to value the memories they shared with you. They will tell of the sacrifices you made for them and that they have known life because of you .
It is not conflicting to love who you are today while doing the best to maintain a healthy lifestyle and taking care of yourself to live longer for your loved ones. You can wear a size zero and still have a few soft spots. You are beautiful regardless. So the next time you are tempted to miss out on having a good time with your loved ones because of insecurities, remember what is important. Keeep working on the best version of you and have fun while doing it.