As parents, we are always looking for ways to turn our little ones into a big pot of happy, vibrant, award and medal winners. What most of us want is to see our little ones accomplish more than we have accomplished and excel in more ways than we did. For all these reasons, we take steps each waking moment to look for ways to help our children be happy and successful.
The question however is, how much of what we do bring our kids true happiness and which ones end up hindering them from being the happy children that we as parents want them to be. Below, we discuss a series of things that we can implement to make sure we are covering all the areas that we need to pay attention to help them achieve these.
Set A Goal
Just like adults, children also need to have some sort of goal set for them. From many studies, children feel a sense of accomplishment when they know that they have certain responsibilities and do these responsibilities in order to earn admiration and praise. It is a natural trait of people even at that tender age to know that they are playing a valuable role and are being appreciated for completing that goal. I started setting goals with my own children as soon as they were able to understand the importance of the role or chore they are being given; and this varies from child to child. I recognized that they loved the positive feedback that came with accomplishing these goals rather than the rewards that I gave them for doing the chore or accomplishing the goal.
Dealing with Defeat
One of the most valuable lessons you can teach your children as a parent is to let them understand the importance of dealing with losses in life and knowing how to process their feelings appropriately in such times. this is particularly important to prevent the future incidence of a feeling of helplessness and worth. As much as we want them to succeed, we can help them know that life sometimes comes with certain difficulties and defeats. the importance of this is to make sure that we are not raising children who will only thrive in success and when things are going their way but then go into total destruction when certain obstacles come along the way.
as much as we wish everyone loves our children and agrees with our point of views, we know that that rarely happens. To raise happy kids, it is also important to learn to disagree with others in a healthy and balances way. It is alright to disagree with others and not have the same point of views, ideologies, believes etc with them but that does not mean you can not have meaningful and respectful relationships with them. The earlier our children learn this the better for their well-being and success both in the own life and also as members of the society.
Quality Family Time
How many parents make the mistake of thinking that toys and little electronic devices make our children happy? No amount of toys or gadgets can replace the joy and happiness that children get when they get to do things together with other members of their family. Not only does this foster good family bond and relationship, it also helps children learn meaningful skills and and enhance good character enforcement, sharing and learning to care for others around them. These are all very important character traits that will come in handy to living a meaningful life as adults.
Healthy Life styles
When it comes to healthy habits, the impact is usually not evident immediately. Making right choices and balance is important for thee long term health of children. Think of it as an investment that will have some great returns in the future. A little veggies on their dinner plate, a half cup of fruits for snacks, some quality fun time outdoors. Putting aside the electronics can become a problem with our little ones but enforcing the electronics time out rule can begin to turn this around and help incorporate some good quality family time into your daily routines.
Getting a quality nights rest will help foster productivity and excelling in other aspects of our children’s life. 8-13 hours of sleep is recommended for preschoolers, 7-12 hours is recommended for school age children and 6-10 hours are recommended for young adults up to 25 year old according to the National Sleep Foundation.
Role of Parents
It’s no question that parents play a vital role in ensuring the happiness of their children. It is also important to know when, where, how and why of your role as a parent. The first rule of thumb is to know the extend of your role. The first thing to remind yourself is that you are not your children’s friend. Your role is to love them unconditionally and help steer them towards the best direction to take to become the best they can become. Know that it is alright to reprimand them when they are going in the wrong direction. and of course, the foundations and early years cannot be emphasized enough. I’d rather reprimand my own children and steer them toward making better choices than making them steer their own paths and thinking of them as free range only for them to fall into the hands the system to do the disciplining.
Providing a loving home entails so many factors. Make it a point to praise more than you blame and reprimand. We can all easily fall into this pattern but we can make a deliberate effort to praise, praise, praise. This will also help bolster confidence in our children. Speak words of beauty, intelligence, accomplishment into the life of our children.
Providing a safe environment should be at the top of your priority. Know who comes and goes into your home. What impact do they have on the life of your children?
Don’t leave the raising of your children for others to do for you. Other people are supposed to supplement your role in their lives and not vice versa.
Make Learning and Studies fun for them
We want our children to excel academically and at various activities but at what price? Learning should be fun for them. This is one true way to achieve success because it will become something they enjoy doing rather than it becoming a chore. Don’t use learning and reading books as a form of punishment or disciplining. For example, it is counter productive to tell your child to go and read a book or study because they have done something bad at school and at home as if it was a way of giving them a time out. Instead, set time aside and let them do it. When they do something great and you want to praise them and reward them, you can say that is so great and I am so proud of you. Give them a reward and let them enjoy their reward. You can also say, “you are getting very good/great at this, That is very encouraging and I know if we work on math (or other subjects), you will be great at it too.” That is a sure way to motivate them and get them started at working on perfecting on different subjects.
We want our little ones to excel at many of the things we did succeed at and more. There is a tendency to try piling on activities upon activities, from the music recitals to the soccer games to the swimming and tumble classes. These 30 minutes to 45 minutes activities if done over board, can wear both the parents and children out and steal away from important family bonding time. It is a great idea to space out these classes and other extra curricula activities. Know your strengths ans limits.
Bear in mind that the welfare and happiness of children and families is not a one size fits all. Some families can or cannot afford to do more based on several factors such as having help, finances, work schedules of parents and so forth. Know your limits and strengths and enjoy your little ones, making lasting memories and helping them to be the happiest they can be.